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Meeting guys on the street for immediate sex at one or the other’s apartment, or on the streets, were some of my first sexual experiences – and made some of my best friends. Something I attribute to the ‘mainstreaming’ of gay life. And you could just as easily become fuck buddies, platonic boon friends or somewhere in between – because gay guys weren’t as hung up about sex as they are today. This wasn’t a bad thing, mind you.īack then was an exciting sensual time, when sex before friendship was the norm. Being barely 18, I was considered a kid – by many of guys around. NYC was not only the one place to find work for dance in America in 1975, it was the mecca for gay life. So, instead of staring out of Julliard’s Lincoln Center windows, at a mostly straight UWS crowd of people, I had the advantage of taking barre and rehearsing while seeing gorgeous, hunky men cruising the streets just two stories down. It was downtown – 10th street and Avenue of the Americas in the West Village. But before I even showed up for the audition, I was contracted by the Joffrey Ballet. I’d been offered a scholarship by Helen McGehee to Julliard that Summer while studying in Toronto. Introduction to “Petit Morte, A Reflection of a Queer Past”
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The views expressed here will be based in the strong belief that life should be intuitive, physical and honest in relationships, politics,
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I’ve started this blog to explore the perspective of life, and it’s situations and events, different than that of the mainstream thought. Ecstasy is the door to understanding enlightenment and purpose. When these three components converge with each other, become vulnerable to each other, equal with each other they create ecstasy. Our ego(mind), heart(soul), and loins(body). The ORIGINAL TRIUMVIRATE is contained within us. Who realizes the dark side of the bull is often the truth. Who walks through the firewalls of his demons. Fixing the cause, not changing an effect.Ī rebel - who transforms his chains from bondage to an ally. In thought - seeking to answer the questions not asked. Many gay bars now have nights where guys congregate to watch RuPaul’s Drag Raceon a big screen.Philosophical, creative, entrepreneurial, un-cynical, sensualist. Then again, maybe I’m just being cautious and everyone else is going to pile in. And those kinds of bars, the ones able to reopen in the first place, may face challenges in getting everything right, to allow for a sense of abandon and bonhomie, and make it feel effortless. But I’m never one to cancel the mainstream spot for the basic gays. So there’ll be that kind of stuff - the roving, illicit, peripheral parties. Of course, there was rave, and scuzzy rock-and-roll queer nights started happening in New York, as you know. Smooth bartenders, smooth bar fixtures, everything low-risk and wipe-clean. One thing my book addresses is how nightlife took a while to recover from the height of the AIDS crisis how that slick, contagion-free aesthetic took over by the ’90s. I’m old enough that the thought of being cheek by jowl is kind of terrifying. I think for the young, that’s a possibility. When we fully come out of lockdown, do you predict a wild sense of abandon in gay nightlife? I have a feeling that the urge for spontaneity will kick back in now that we’ve had nothing but screens. And humor - and changing your mind about somebody. That’s not about being a size queen, I’m talking about the tease. Today, with everyone looking at Grindr on their phones, is the sexual urgency at bars completely gone? And then up through writing the book, up to the pandemic, I continued to go out for the frisson, for the feeling there could be trouble in store. So you put it exactly right - the possibility of sex, if not actually having any. This was the ’90s and a lot of us were terrified of disease. For me, though, the sexy stuff took some time, because when I first went out - and I was taken out, you know, identified and taken along - it was more to see and be seen. But the sex was an important motivation, not just for going to bars, but writing the book. I know some people are mad at me for writing from that angle–like they’d rather I’d written about searching for an alternative family, not a hot daddy.